I've lived this pattern, not studied it from the outside.

For 17 years I was an educator: a school counselor and special ed teacher, with degrees in counseling, psychology, and human development. I had a shared language with the people I worked with, and a shared mission: help students and families succeed.

Then the pandemic hit. I was working from a foldable desk in our bedroom, calling families to find out why their kids hadn't logged into class, while my not-quite-two-year-old taught himself KidzBop dances in the living room. As a new mom, stepmom, and wife, the boundaries I needed stopped being negotiable. I wasn't willing to work late on spreadsheets after everyone else went to bed, because I was exhausted too.

So I chose myself. That first no felt like torture. I did it anyway, and I survived it, and the relationships that mattered survived it too. I'm still doing it, one no at a time. Now I help Gen-X women do the same, and I'm chasing 50 mini adventures before I turn 50 on Substack, because coming back to yourself should include some fun.